post 'post morten'
‘AO VERME QUE PRIMEIRO ROEU AS FRIAS CARNES DO MEU CADÁVER DEDICO, COMO SAUDOSA LEMBRANÇA, ESTAS MEMÓRIAS PÓSTUMAS’
Machado de Assis em “Memórias Póstumas de Brás Cubas”
Inicialmente, quero tranqüilizar a todos dizendo que não morri, ainda. Mas esse livro acima, principalmente seu início, me marcou profundamente. Ficou na lembrança sua leitura dos tempos de ginásio, de tal forma que se impôs uma releitura na maturidade, já livre da ditadura escolástica.
Dessas duas ocasiões, a descrição do velório, no primeiro capítulo, me chamou atenção para um aspecto, que o tempo e a imaginação desvirtuaram um pouco. Fixei na mente uma cena em que o narrador-defunto descreve a presença de várias senhoras no seu velório e as identifica como sendo seus amores passados. Achei isso o supra-sumo do romantismo, um gran-finale apoteótico. Tanto é que, alguns anos atrás, fiz uma lista dessas ‘senhoras’ as quais gostaria que comparecessem em meu velório para as derradeiras homenagens.
Hoje, ao pensar em escrever esse post, fui reler o livro e me surpreendi. Não eram várias, mas apenas uma, anônima, entre outras duas que eram parentas. Conforme descreve o narrador (ora direis, defunto): “contentem-se de saber que essa anônima, ainda que não parenta, padeceu mais do que as parentas. É verdade, padeceu mais. Não digo que se carpisse, não digo que se deixasse rolar pelo chão, convulsa. Nem o meu óbito era coisa altamente dramática... Um solteirão que expira aos sessenta e quatro anos, não parece que reúna em si todos os elementos de uma tragédia. E dado que sim, o que menos convinha a essa anônima era aparenta-lo.’’
Então, radicalizemos a idéia machadiana e, aproveitemos esses tempos de orkut, para localizar e propor uma atualização permanente de endereços entre as eleitas (ou vítimas, de acordo com o gosto) para, ao final dos tempos, podermos (já virei PJ, que chiquê!) enviar os convites para as homenagens póstumas. Tal tarefa não me parece difícil, pois que, consultando a memória, ainda não póstuma, não identifiquei quantidade superior ao total de dedos da mão esquerda de nosso ‘efelentíssimo’. Sim, é da mão esquerda, pois o e-mail que circulou com a foto de suas duas mãos, foi caluniosamente deturpado por algum ‘photoshop’ pessedebista.
Todas, no evento, que espero ‘muito menos triste do que poderia parecer’, poderão trocar figurinhas a respeito do defunto, entre mexericos, louvores, injúrias, blasfêmias e risadinhas coradas, para espanto das parentas.
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